oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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