your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
