not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
