JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
