i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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