It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
