i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
