i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
