Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
