Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
