she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
