ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
