the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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