if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
