i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
