So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
