Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize