So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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