I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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