Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
