today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're like the curious george of whores
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can I color on your dick again?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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