last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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