Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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