Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
