ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
