Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
