look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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