I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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