I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
only if we run a train.
done.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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