i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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