bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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