My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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