Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
