i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
