I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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