For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
