i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Someone came in the potted fern
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
there is glitter all over my balls
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
