Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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