I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
