you win again, gameday.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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