Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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