Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
