Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
