batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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