six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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