No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
