Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
