your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
