Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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