i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
