so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
