my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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