Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
