Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
