My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
